1/18/2005

omens.

there's a ladybug on my window at work right now. i was ecstatic when i saw it from across the room, because ladybugs are so pretty and for some reason i always felt like ladybugs were good luck when they're around. i got up closer to inspect it and realized it's all faded and brown and looks more like a potato bug, and it made me feel not so lucky. :-/ as i started writing this post i thought about that unlucky feeling, and at this very moment i just watched it take flight and leave. the end.

1/14/2005

aren't you annette benning?

pocky -- it's the most complete treat ever!
at least that's what i think i overheard last night... er, um, i mean early this morning... so what if i have only seen the lesser half of about four hours sleep? i don't feel like i'm *hurting* and i'm surprisingly not grumpy. maybe it's all the sleep i forced on myself on wednesday night like a false hibernation. better to just give it time, though, because the day is still very young and i am hoping the mass amounts of a certain stimulant i have yet to consume will lubricate my brain into a complacent state for the whole day. (coffee lobotomy)

feh!

1/05/2005

throw me a line, because i'm drowning....

work has always been to me what water is to a fish
- Horace Mann

never before have i so much wanted to feel like a fish out of water.

the pitcher's wind-up....

last night we untrimmed the xmas tree (a few days early, but i couldn't wait for the epiphany because i was afraid the tree might spontaneously combust it was so dry). holiday tradition in our home is to pitch the formerly-trimmed tree off the balcony to the sidewalk below where it will wait for curbside pick-up (to be mulched and reconstituted so that santa can make more toys for next year is what we tell the little to placate her or else she'd want to keep the tree forever). last night, we let drew do the honors. he did alright for a first-timer, but the tree-tossing anticipation got the tree downstairs before i could advise him that you get extra points if the tree is standing on its base when it reaches the sidewalk. next year we keep score.

1/03/2005

cookie cut outs in the sky...

the rain has let up today for the time being. earlier there was a quick clearing of clouds to reveal a pulse of sunlight and the kind of bright blue sky that is vibrant and crisp, the kind of blue that only ever seems to emerge after the rain. within the hour the clouds were back, but this time they were large, white and puffy. i've been staring at them trying to see if i could pick out shapes and such in the clouds, but there's more cloud than blue, and so it's actually easier to find shapes in the void of clouds instead. i saw a sky blue starfish, a seal, a wolf's head, and a lucky number 7 before all the blue was gone again. now darker layers of clouds are blowing in and silhouetting against the while fluffies, and there's a whole new set of stuff to observe.

chilly willy...

i'll admit that i appreciate not having to freeze my ass off when i have my pants down, but what the fuck is up with the fact that i need a space heater in my office to warm me up from the daily arctic-like conditions but the heat in the ladies room is cranked up so high that it feels like palm springs?

oh yeah. clearly there's a rant purge occurring at the onset of this new year.
better put on your slickers and wellies, kids... we're in for a long ride.
if you choose to stay you're on notice: get in, sit down, hold on and shut up.

not a hoagie....

she hears him telling me a story, so she comes to sit and listen. she's heard the story before, one of a recent encounter with another doctor in his building. he's telling me how while in the elevator this other doc is on the cell phone gabbing away and so distracted that he's gotten on an UP elevator when he wants to be going DOWN, and then when he realizes it he's hemming and hawing about it while still on the phone, and then he starts using tae kwon do moves to reach around and hit elevator buttons with his feet instead of using his hands. we muse about the security camera in the elevator and what part of any of this fiasco it captured. i start to chime in new endings for his story mid-way, he starts making up lines for the doc to be saying and says them with the overlap/delay of a japanese warrior movie. she sees us playing off one another and laughing till we're gasping for air. she's laughing (at us more than she's laughing at the story) and then gently shaking her head she says: "you bring out a side of him that i rarely see." (i start to suppress my laughter into a semi-stunned silence) "really, i never see him laugh so hard as when you two get together," she concludes.

at first i thought she kinda said it in that "he never has a second cup of coffee at home" sort of way, which made me giggle until i sensed a hint of sadness (or was it resentment?) in her voice and the expression on her face as she uttered those words across the xmas day luncheon table. hard to believe that now, more than two decades later, she utters this fact like it's a revelation -- despite knowing us and knowing that we share a special bond, that we're always on the same wavelength, and that both of us are jackasses at heart (these facts are not secrets).... i shrugged and said the only thing i could in response, something i have said time and time again... "we're cut from the same cloth, and he's my hero".

resolutions...




even the fucking cookie mocks me.