6/25/2004

you choose...



How to make a dvl
Ingredients:
3 parts intelligence
1 part self-sufficiency
5 parts instinct
Method:
Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add sadness to taste! Do not overindulge!

OR


How to make a dvl blush
Ingredients:
3 parts intelligence
3 parts crazyiness
1 part energy
Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add lovability to taste! Do not overindulge!

either way you'd better skip the colorful umbrellas and fruit garnish if you know what's good for you...

6/23/2004

it's hump day...

...and the June gloom is gone... so let's talk about sex.

PLEASURE, n. The least hateful form of dejection.

i was getting some coffee this morning when i overheard the UPS guy come in the office today and said "i have a package for you" and all i could hear in my head after that was *wocka chicka wocka chicka wocka chicka*

i know it's cliche, and reminiscent of disco porn where a plumber knocks on the door and calls out to the lady of the house that he's there to "check her pipes" (*wocka chicka wocka chicka wocka chicka*)... but it got me thinking -- which we all know is kinda dangerous -- and now i wonder if an individual's sexual fantasies are more likely to be outrageously fictional or if they're predominantly based on the events of one's everyday life.

like when he fantasizes, does the UPS guy deliver packages and further proceed to service (or be serviced by) the recipient?

*wocka chicka wocka chicka wocka chicka*

does a firefighter say "something's smoking... let me get my hose ready"?

*wocka chicka wocka chicka wocka chicka*

or does the attorney work for says things like "i need to check your briefs before court"?

*wocka chicka wocka chic----*

nope... i'm not even laughing on the inside anymore.

ever wonder....

... just what thoughts are going through someone's head when they're engaging in naughty business in chat and there's a lull in the conversation?

"crap, i cant find the 'oh my god, i need to fuck her right now' smiley!!!"

6/22/2004



PARENTAL
ADVISORY
DVL CONTAINS
EXPLICIT LYRICS

6/16/2004

fade into you....

happy grey wednesday.
i can't even see the usually-visible local mountains from my office window. this weather makes me wish i was at the beach breathing in the dampness, listening to the waves crash, sitting close enough to feel the spray on my face...

6/11/2004

... take me away to nowhere plains...

i was underwater.
came up for air.
guess what?
yep, i'm burned out.
still.
makes me cranky.
sorry if you walk into the line of fire.
it's not you, it's me.
well, it's not me, it's work.
well, maybe it is you a little.
nah, it's really work -- so let's stick with that.
(maui no ka oi, and it's beckoning for our return)
i'm so thankful for my simple life.
i'm blessed.
still a little cranky.
stupid job.

6/08/2004

Semper Fi...

i would have posted this for Memorial Day if i knew about it... but it's never too late to take a moment.

6/03/2004

my tongue is tied in knots...

well, no it's not really... in fact i feel more like with everything say i am cramming my foot farther in my mouth, and proving the effectiveness of the tagline of this blog... there are no known reasons for this nuisance... but i cannot predict when it will change... maybe you should kiss me now to stop me from trying to say any more.

i ain't askin' for much....

.... but a simple 'thank you' for doing you that favor would suffice. fucker.