perfection, industry, analysis.... oh my.

what's been said about me:

she takes pride in being industrious and rational, a 'doer' who likes to see tangible results.
she can be down-to-earth, she's very observant and detail-oriented.
she can be quite critical.
with things that interest her, she can be precise to the point of perfection.
yet she's restless (due to a strong nervous energy that calls for movement, activity and industry).
she's paradoxical: she can be tidy regarding some things, but disorganized and messy regarding others (the latter especially applies when she's in too much of a hurry or feeling particularly stressed).
she doesn't like too much inactivity and can't sit still for a long time.
disorder upsets her, especially when it's created by other people or when people mess around with her possessions or misplace them.

had my CAKE and ate it too....

i suck at being vulnerable, and that feeling of vulnerability is what keeps me emotionally at arm's-length from most of the world (even my closest friends), but at least i can admit that i despise feeling emotionally helpless -- when an outside force so emotionally cripples me that i forget how strong i can be... luckily just when i thought all i wanted to do for the rest of the weekend was lay in bed depressed, i got a much needed reality check that helped me get my shit together.
i'm forgiving but i know that i often too quickly impose the "cross me once, shame on you; cross me twice, shame on me" rule and sometimes i take that rule to the extreme and forget to give the second chance.
i'm still a work in progress.

shorter of breath and one day closer to death...

... after today i start celebrating them by 5's.