thankfully spoiled...

...by the four days in a row away from work that allowed me to spend quality time with my family and my favorite friends.

i feel [blank] right now.

i got sideswiped last night.
by a rented SUV.
by a guy who's here on holiday from Bermuda.
he didn't even see me driving in the lane next to him.
whatafuckingnightmare.
there's a blimp hovering in the sky right now.
there's an icerink opening downstairs for the holidays.
i wonder if there will be a zamboni.
i've always wanted to ride the zamboni.
sideswiped but not blindsided.

oohh....ahhhh....

saturdays are for stick figure porn

although without the computer i don't know how i would get my daily dose of cowbell...

learn to say yes'm without feeling like a yes man

...

...

yeah, i got nothing.

honk once for yes, twice for no... or vice versa

in the morning i drop the little off to school and from 8:25a-8:35a everyday the neighborhood that surrounds her school is transformed from a quiet residential area to 4 square blocks of chaos with swarms of autos and suvs all trying to jam into the same small street to drop off kids - honking, double parking, hand gestures, crossing guards stopping traffic out of sync, parking enforcement making up bogus rules about the 3 min loading zone - it's like one strong *pulse* of life and chaos co-mingled that's reminiscent of the frustration that comes with trying to exit from stack parking at either the hollywood bowl or the greek theater.

caravan of love...

i walk into the kitchen at work today and goddammit that there's a box of krispy kremes in there on the table... as i walked past them to get my coffee i faintly heard them cat-call whistle at me (fucking rude doughnuts!!), and so i had to spy them using my peripheral vision (mostly to make sure they didn't try any mind tricks on me)... the tension was pretty thick -- suffocatingly thick -- in that small kitchen with just me and the kk, and i think i even felt the temperature rise a few degrees as i stood at the counter with my back to the kk to dress my coffee... as my coffee and i turned to make a b-line for the door to quickly get out of there it felt as if the kk and i were in a showdown (*insert whistle and drum sounds typical of westerns*), a battle of wills, a test of my resolve... alas, i walked out of the kitchen and no kk left with me.... did i exercise willpower? was this a testament to my dedication? meh... i would like to think so but i have to admit that the only thing saving me was that the seal on the box had not yet been broken. ergo, hollow victory.

new parents' revenge -- *cue circus music*....

i went to a baby shower today in palos verdes, which is close to a one hour drive from door-to-door. for the gift i bought a pretty cool gadgety gizmo where the new lil whippersnapper can lay on the floor and touch parts of this arch and sounds and lights happen. i thought twice when i got it because it's a toy that makes noise, and i know how i so hated any toys that little had that were incessant fornogoodreason noisemakers, but this seemed a lil more educational (yeah, that's my answer and i'm sticking with it). welp, i guess when i wrapped the gift this morning i activated the demo mode and before long this large box of lights and sounds was going off every minute, and it was fully wrapped, and i had no more cutesy babyshower wrapping paper so i could not rip it open and deactivate it. so i drove from weho to p.v., in more traffic than usual of course, and blasted my music as loud as i could without destroying the little's hearing but just enough to drown out the sound of the toy emanating from the jump seat of my wagon (dammit, i just realized a reason to have a trunk). in retrospect, i probably should have gotten them a card that says "i'm sorry" for this gift i got you rather than "congratulations on your new baby". pppfffttttt.

giggle therapy...

when things like way-too-early christmas trees and my failing diet have me down, i'm thankful for the little reminders to lighten up.

imma x-mas h8er

well, not really, but i loathe that it's only the second week of november and from my office window i can see a fully decorated and lit up christmas tree in front of the mall...

day one of many...

she is having her first chemo treatment today.
the moon in the western sky has been staring at me each day through my window.
i wish we had gone camping before it got too cold this year.

hollow...

... i just found out this morning that a very close dear friend of mine has cancer. she's only 33, and has two beautiful little girls. i've been somewhat stunned all day long, and i fear that i'm harboring a little bit of denial over the whole situation and that when i least expect it i am going to crack open like an egg and my emotions will ooze out all over the place. i want her to know that i am here to help out in any way i can. i don't have the first clue as to what she is going through, so i'm feeling rather helpless.

i am not privy to all of the test results at this very moment, but it's possible her prognosis might likely be not one of how long till remission, but how many more months/year(s) can we prolong her being around. i hate to think that her time with us may be limited at all, let alone to that of 5 years or less. if this is the case, i just had the dreadful realization that she's not going to be around to share milestones with her kids like graduations, marriages, birth of her grandchildren...

and with that i just felt the first big crack in my shell...
:(