hollow...

... i just found out this morning that a very close dear friend of mine has cancer. she's only 33, and has two beautiful little girls. i've been somewhat stunned all day long, and i fear that i'm harboring a little bit of denial over the whole situation and that when i least expect it i am going to crack open like an egg and my emotions will ooze out all over the place. i want her to know that i am here to help out in any way i can. i don't have the first clue as to what she is going through, so i'm feeling rather helpless.

i am not privy to all of the test results at this very moment, but it's possible her prognosis might likely be not one of how long till remission, but how many more months/year(s) can we prolong her being around. i hate to think that her time with us may be limited at all, let alone to that of 5 years or less. if this is the case, i just had the dreadful realization that she's not going to be around to share milestones with her kids like graduations, marriages, birth of her grandchildren...

and with that i just felt the first big crack in my shell...
:(