is there a doctor in the house?

because i may need my foot surgically removed from my mouth.

i am a work in progress (just because i raised an eyebrow that she slept with you on the first date doesn't mean that i was calling her a slut) and so i am still learning how to harness the power of my internal editor (only one date so far and you're leaving my place at 1AM to go hang out at his place? booty call!) and learning to be nurturing to my friends (i will always hold your hair when you have to puke) yet be less overtly critical about the decisions they make for themselves (i don't mean anything by it...i'm just sayin).